Someone shit on the floor
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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