She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You've changed since you got that strap on
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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