idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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