I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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