I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize