i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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