if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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