god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
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Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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