my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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