There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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