hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Two words: blizzard sex
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize