I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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