If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize