what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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