Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize