Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Is Oprah even human
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