i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize