that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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