she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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