wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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