Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
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This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
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Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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