I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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