And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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