my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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