and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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