I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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