Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
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One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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