And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
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I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
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I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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