dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
did i walk over a car last night?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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