it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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