1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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