he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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