If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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