dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize