I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
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Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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