new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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