So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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So many bounce houses so little time
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
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The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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