No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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