Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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