Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
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Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
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You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Bring me that man meat
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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