She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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