I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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