Dual....:-)
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
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Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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