butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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