We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize