my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
How's work?
Spinning.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize