He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He passed out mid-signature
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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