Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize