This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm passing your future prison.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize