Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize